Friday, December 10, 2010

Bathroom Dreams

I only wish I had thought to get a picture of the restroom in question.

So, it all started with a lot of peach tea before bed, a tired Queen and a distressing dream at 6:00 a.m.

I dreamed that I was searching for a restroom and when I finally found it, it was not in the most private area. The long awaited restroom was in an overflow dining room of a restraurant. Every time I tried to sit down, a group of diners would come in to sit at one of the tables nearby. I keep ushering people out and then more could come. I was so glad to wake up from that dream.

Later that morning, I drove to a town about an hour away to a specialty bakery/diner. While there, my large cup of coffee it me. After delivering my bakery items to my car, I went back inside the tiny little restraunt. The bathroom was literally sharing a wall with the dining room that seated - oh, about 15-20 people.

As I pushed open the door to the restroom, I was about 12 inches from the lady at the table by the restroom door. Awkward.

The restroom was a one hole joint. As I was trying to push the door closed to lock it, I couldn't because something was preventing the door from closing. I was pushing to close it and something was pushing back and finally, I let go of the door. Now, I needed to go, badly. And the large cup of coffee I consumed on the hour's drive was not making my wait very pleasant. So as I was trying to close the door and lock it, I was already unbuttoning my jeans. It was an emergency, after all.

When I let go of the door, a woman pushes the door open and walks in. ??? Uh. Excuse me. I'm not about to share my one hole potty with anyone.

Do. I. Know. You?!! I barely squelched the Steve Martin that rose up in my mind. (name that movie.)

So I looked at her like, "ummm, what are you doing?". Trying to be nice, but I'm thinking, "Lady - it is pretty obvious that you need to leave." I think after I composed myself, I said something like, "uh, can I help you?". I mean, I had already reached to unbutton my pants. She had walked completely in the room and was looking around. She looks around the one room/one stall potty and says in a thick European accent, "rrrhest-rrrhoom???".

Ah, okay. So, she's not from around here, obviously. I pointed to the only potty in the room and said, "uh, yesss, but ... um ...." and I pointed at myself. I felt like a toddler. Few words and possessive. Sorry, but it's my potty. I found it first. And I am not sharing.

Leave.

She graciously backed out of the room. I slid the lock in place and remembered my dream. Here I am, just like my dream, trying to go to the potty in a restaurant while people are walking in on me.

I really felt bad for her because she was in a different culture, but not bad enough to let her go first.

1 comment:

Lucy said...

Hi. I am Julie and my dad has familial periodic paralysis. I have never met anyone else who does. My email is lucychristy@gmail.com. I would love to know more about it!