Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.



Have you noticed the shift in our society? When a funeral procession passes, where are the compassionate citizens who pull their cars over and get out with their hands over their hearts to symbolize the grief that is passing in front of their eyes?




This past weekend I noticed a funeral procession approaching me on a 6 lane divided road. I began to pull over and was nearly run over by the cars around me. Not one other car attempted to pull over to show respect to the poor people on the opposite side of the road. No one even slowed down. No one pulled over.


It struck me that I have not been in the presence of a funeral procession in a very long time. Maybe years. Consequently, I have not had the opportunity to teach Princess how to show respect in such a situation. Maybe the other drivers around me were in the same situation? Maybe they had not been taught how to honor the mourning in their midst. Maybe my principles are grounded in rural America where you simply stopped what you were doing to stand silently for a moment and reflect on life and death. To mourn with those who mourn.


Maybe my strong belief about this is grounded in the fact that the person in that hearse has passed into the last stage of eternity. Life on this earth is eternity ... just one segment of it. As eternal beings, we have already begun eternal living. We get caught up in the "dash" of life. 1964 - 2008. Reality reminds us that the "dash" ... the hyphen in between the birth and the death is where a fraction of our life is spent. When a hearse passes me, my heart aches with the knowledge that " ... wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."


As the funeral procession passes me, I want to stand in the presence of the loved ones with my hand over my heart to tell them that I honor their grief. I honor their loss. I honor the fact that their loved one has passed to the majority of their eternal existence. I would love to stand alongside others who acknowledge the loss, grief and passing.

Quick Update

I have been exceedingly busy lately. We have not moved the office yet due to issues with the phone system. We partially moved in yesterday and should be fully functional by Monday or Tuesday.

My health has been great despite daily migraines. While talking to friends Saturday night, it dawned on me that the chocolate is causing my migraines. I decided to cut the chocolate and have been off of it since Sunday morning. My head is already better although I know it will take a few weeks to get all of the chocolate out of my system.

I am also having migraines because of stress. I posted a couple of months ago about my right knee popping. Nothing has changed, it still pops and I can feel something inside which makes me think some cartilage has torn off. I haven't been on the treadmill much since the popping began as I don't want to aggravate the condition. Thus, I am not burning off the extra stress that piles up inside of me.

Bible study has been great. There is no organized study, just a continued read of Proverbs and Ephesians. Love them both!

My friend with cancer has her own wigs, so Princess' hair is not needed. We still have the hair in a zippy bag waiting for me to decide where to send it. Locks of Love does not use all the ponytails that they receive, so I'm reluctant to send it to them. I'll have to do more research. In the meantime, we will use her ponytail for her project at school in April. We all love her new hair and it's care is so much easier.

We had a big software release this week. This is the release that will ship on all the HP computers next year. It needs to be done correctly. All "bugs" need to be known and as many of them fixed as possible. Our distribution has increased/changed so much where software bugs were simply an annoyance before, now the bugs will show up as so numerous as to remind a person of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Gotta squish the bugs before they are distributed. :)

She did it!

Princess had two of her closest friends spend the night on Wednesday night and then we picked up a third friend on Thursday. They all had fun and then at 1:15 we went to the salon for her hair donation. My stylist is the owner of the salon and she did a super great job on Princess. These are the pictures of before and after.

One of the things I told the girls is, "When you go through something eventful in your life, be sure to have your girlfriends with you. They can cheer you on, encourage you or lift your spirits." I so want these girls to continue to learn the true meaning and value of friendship ... that they are never alone ... that they always have each other. We celebrated friendship in a pre-teen way with going to the salon together and then going for ice cream afterwards.

Life is good!

Psalm 8:2-4

Because of Your adversaries, You have established a stronghold from the mouths of children and nursing infants, to silence the enemy and the avenger. When I observe Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You set in place, what is man that You remember him, the son of man that You look after him?

Cancer

I have a precious friend who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Within a week or two she went from finding the lump to being diagnosed and then finding out it is now in her lymph nodes as stage 3. This past weekend she got the results back from the bone biopsy. They had to do a series of tests to determine if they could even give her chemo and one of them was the bone scan. Something showed up on the scan and so they scheduled a bone biopsy. Are you cringing with me? Sorry. Anyway, we were all praying so hard for God's Will, and yet begging Him like little children to make the bone biopsy clean so that she can have the chemo.



WooHoo!!!!! The biopsy came back negative on Friday, so she started her chemo yesterday after work. She is a doctor and will continue to work. She goes back to work on Thursday.



Her daughter is one of Princess' dearest friends. "Daughter" (as I will call her) will be with Princess on Thursday when Princess cuts her hair. Princess has been growing her hair out to donate. We will keep her ponytail for our friend. I know it takes 3-4 ponytails to make a wig, but there is a way to make a "ponytail cap" with one donation. We'll see. I can totally see my friend just using a bandana though.

New Office

We move our office this week from our home to a new, groovy office. It's actually a house that we are leasing from dear friends. It's a large home set on the banks of a beautiful creek. There is plenty of room to grow our employee base from 2 to 8 or so. We really could fit a large number of people here, but we have capped it at 8. We plan to lease the property for a year and then re-evaluate. We feel so blessed to have such a beautiful space to launch the company into this next phase of growth. The number of countries that we serve has grown to 90 countries. Surprisingly, the US is not our largest region of the world. This job is so fun and at times I wonder what I did with all of my time before I worked. Work has forced me to be very disciplined and purposeful with my time.

These are pictures of the new office. Princess will be very blessed to spend her summer here instead of in some office building, that's for sure! She can fish, explore, swim and play in her nooks of the house. The pantry has a hidden area that is very much like the wardrobe in Narnia. You pull on a section of shelving in the pantry and it opens as a door into another small room behind the pantry! Very cool.

Biggest Loser

Ok, it's been a busy week, but I have to take a minute to pontificate on last Tuesday's episode of the Biggest Loser. The whole pride thing on the Blue Team is very telling. "From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks", so says Jesus. Him being the authority on everything, I take Him at His Word. The issue of pride with the Blue team has taken a nasty root and grown. The tattoos were sad enough, but the arrogance being displayed by Roger and Dan are evidence of the attitude of their hearts.

Having said that, I do love the loyalty on the Blue Team. Good stuff. They display an excellent example of team spirit, competitiveness and loyalty.

I really want to opine about the Blue Team crying. Many people say it was over the top and embarressing. This also is very telling. Why is it in our society that we demand that men be relational with accurate verbal expressions, remember anniversaries and buy flowers, yet we stomp on men when they show emotion??? Where, oh where, is the logic?

If society wants men to be considered babies when they cry then we need to follow the logic to its bitter end. Either we encourage thoughtful communication, good verbal skills, gentle expressions of affection AND showing tender emotion ....

Or we encourage no tender emotion, no gentle expressions of affection, poor verbal skills and silence in place of thoughtful communication.

Which will be have, Society? Choose this day. This split personality man that our society has created is confusing to men and women alike. It's not a godly example and the Christian community should be ashamed for contributing to this sad World View that crying is lame and a man who buys flowers is to be celebrated.

And, as Forest Gump says, "That's all I have to say about that."

Ear Infection

Princess began having trouble hearing at the beginning of this week. By Wednesday night, she could not hear you speak to her unless you were right next to her. Thursday morning we went to the pedi and both of her ears were so infected that her eardrums could not move. The pedi asked her, "Do your ears hurt?" and she replied, "No sir." Amazing. She never runs a fever unless she has the flu and she rarely complains of pain. Ok, backtrack. She's a drama queen so if she has a papercut, it's worth a moan or two. If she jams her finger while playing basketball, you'll hear about it all day. But, if she's really sick or really hurt ... she pulls up her boot straps and deals with it. I admire her. She's my hero.

RAK

Random Acts of Kindness

I love Lysa's blog. I always get a chuckle or stab of conviction. Today is about Random Acts of Kindness. I actually prefer to think of them as SLAK ... Spirit Led Acts of Kindness. You know that internal shove you get when you have the option to let someone in front of you during high traffic times? Or how about when someone is wandering around in the parking lot looking for their car and you have the option to drive by or stop and help them find the car? You hear that a friend is having a rough time and you think, "I should send them a card..." All of these are really easy, simple ways to show kindness. By definition, the person receiving the kindness does not necessarily deserve it or else it would be a payment ... not an act of kindness.

Dictionary.com defines Kindness as:

1.
the state or quality of being kind
2.
a kind act; favor
3.
kind behavior
4.
friendly feeling; liking.

Did you notice in the 2nd definition that kindness is also called a favor? This made me look up Favor in the dictionary:

1.
something done or granted out of goodwill, rather than from justice or for remuneration; a kind act

I guess I always thought of a favor as something that needed to be repaid. I learn new things every day!

Luke 6:34-36

And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Boundaries

I drive carpool every other week. In the afternoons, it is only Princess and her friend, "M". On Friday, Princess and her friend were telling me about their time on the playground which I will get to later. One particular boy, who I will give the original name of "boy", really likes Princess. She has had a crush on him since the end of last school year. This boy's family has had some hard times lately with his parents' divorce. He has a stuttering issue as well that makes him a target of his peers. Princess accepts him just as he is and has a heart for him. It doesn't hurt anything that he also likes horses and they pretend to be horses when they play together. As the year has progressed, they have matured and play other games besides the horse game. King and I have a "no dating" rule. Crushes are not encouraged, but as part of life and maturing, they are inevitable. We have chosen to use this relationship as a teaching one.

"Boy" is providing us some great teaching material! Last week he brought a pocket knife to school and showed it to Princess on the playground, swearing her to secrecy. Being the obedient gal that she is, she told me about it rather hesitantly as she didn't want to break his trust.

This past Friday on the playground, a group of kids surrounded "Boy" and were teasing him. Someone suggested he pretend to be a bull which he proceeded to do with gusto. He began headbutting everyone in his path, knocking my little carpool buddy off of her feet when he hit her in the stomach. The girls then told me how "Boy" makes Princess do whatever he wants her to do. He holds her wrist in a way that she can't get away and drags her places. All kinds of alarms go off in my head when I hear things like this. Then Princess told me about "Boy" and a friend making the sign of the cross in the dirt and stepping on it, then holding her wrist and trying to force her to do the same. She was greatly frustrated and wrenched away from them, using her foot to erase the cross from the dirt.

This is the point where I talked to the girls about boundaries. "Boundaries are good for you in all of your relationships. You will be a good friend to "Boy" if you tell him your boundaries and then stick to them. Tell him you are a lady and you will be treated like a lady." I went on to encourage them to involve an adult to help them if someone was violating their boundaries, in this case, "Boy". As elementary kids, this is a small problem. If this boy does not learn his boundaries and thinks he can force a girl to do what he wants ... this could have huge and devastating effects in 5 years.

At times I wish this friendship with "boy" would disappear, but I am learning to be thankful for this struggle. Princess is learning how she wants to be treated. She has a compassionate heart and I can see her as a teenager falling for some smooth talk from a hurting guy. Now is the time to teach her boundaries ... for her safety and well being. In our society, it's been pretty easy to teach virtue as there is so much material available as negative examples. What is a little harder for me is the more elusive topic of honor, respect and boundaries.

Music

I found this music while visiting another blog. I love reflective, tender instrumental music. As a visitor of my blog, do you find the music distracting? Do you prefer a quiet blog page or does music enhance your blogging experience? Comment and let me know!

Kindness

My precious friend, Katybug, nominated me for the Everyday Kindness Award. I'm a little baffled by this because Katy knows me really well. :) I humbly accept your gift and truly thank you, Katy. Can I give this award back to you? I think you are pretty nifty, too.

What does kindess mean anyway?

"Let a righteous man strike me - it is a kindness; let him rebuke me - it is oil on my head." Ps 141:5

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Gal 5:22

"And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus." Eph 2:6-7

May I be kind in telling the truth, in allowing the Spirit to flow through me, and in resting and celebrating the incomparable riches of God's grace expressed through Christ Jesus!

The Day

What does this day hold for you? What do you have planned? What will make this day different from yesterday? Do you have great plans, normal plans?

"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

Do you know who said this? What was the author drawing out of the reader?

Make the most of every opportunity.

If one is very careful then, one would be highly alert to each action that they take. Every opportunity does not indicate being careful with only the opportunities that you deem important, but being careful with every single, solitary opportunity.

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Make the most of every opportunity. Imitate God.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and early loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all thse virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Make the most of every opportunity. Imitate God. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

Make the most of every opportunity. Imitate God. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Godliness with contentment is great gain.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Saviour, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel...That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day."

Make the most of every opportunity. Imitate God. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Godliness with contentment is great gain. God gave us a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. Join in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

Oh .... Mohhhmmy

We have hit the tween years. I love it and dread it. My daughter is sweet. She's an obedient gal. She really wants to please. However, I can see those teen years coming and all that those years bring with them. I have been dreading it.

Until today.

Today I listened to HomeWord with Jim Burns at OnePlace.com. This particular interview was with Susie Shellenberger, the editor of Brio magazine. The topic was, "Hearing What Your Daughter Isn't Telling You". I was humbled. I was excited. I was nervous. I was relieved. I experienced a lot of emotions while listening because for the first time I realized that I have been quite ill with Ostrich Syndrome. It's quite debilitating, this syndrome. Those affected proceed through daily life with their rears in the air and heads in the sand pretending that their "babies" are not growing up. I got a kick in the seat today and I am very grateful. Digging the sand out of my ears, I realized all over again that NOW is the time to make the teen years great. I need to truly work at my relationship with my daughter to cultivate intimacy and fun ... while she still wants to hang out with me. :)

I'm actually choosing to change my attitude about the change that is encroaching upon my daughter. Praise God that she is normal and can grow up. Praise God that she has the ability to articulate herself to me. Praise God that she can discern right from wrong (even when she doesn't make the right choice between the two). Praise God for hormones as they are part of growing up. It's all good. Change is supposed to be hard. Why was I telling myself that her growth was to be dreaded? All great character growth is ugly in the process, but the result is a blessing to behold.

So, I have chosen to embrace this eye-rolling, fashion-driven, big-sighing, please-don't-embarress-me-Mommy time and just love the whole thing. That's what love is afterall, isn't it? Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Mine!

Basketball is fun. I love to watch these girls learn the game. I am a bit perplexed with the conundrum resulting from inate competition and being a woman of grace. This week after the game, Princess recalled that she and a girl from the other team do not like each other. After a bit of conversation, the reason was competition ... not that anyone has done anything wrong or hurtful ... Princess is just learning what good, healthy competition is. As she reasons with her relational nature, if you are at odds, there must be a relational issue and it must have to do with who you are and who I am. She still hasn't learned that you mix it up on the court and high-five the other team at the end of the game. She is great at defense and really gets into ball stealing. She's much better at offense this season, but defense is where she shines. I'm praying that our time in the Word and time on the court will bring many lessons that will bless her for the rest of her life. This picture is Princess on offense teamed up against another competitive girl on defense. Each game is filled with running and scoring. They score combined 70 - 90 points per 40 minute game. So fun.

Becky and Shauna - Welcome!

You guys get your own post! Thanks for the comments on my "New Mattress" post. For some reason I can not post back to you, so I thought I'd give you the headliner spot. :) I hope you guys visit often! Katy, thank you for inviting new friends over to my blog to play!

BTW, I plan to post pictures of my "new best friend" today. It's dreamy....

Candy Palace

My dear daughter got the entrepreneurial gene from her dad. She came up with the idea of a "shop" to sell her wares, The Candy Palace. A lemonade stand is simply not where it's at. This girl wants her customers to have a kiosk full of things from which to choose. Mostly, she just wants customers. The very fun thing is what she does with her money. She doesn't sell things for herself. All, and I repeat, all proceeds go to Makarios to bless Miss Sharla and the Haitian people in the Dominican Republic. Our friend, Sharla, started Makarios (greek for "blessed") after teaching in the DR and seeing the need of the people. It's an amazing ministry. Check out their blog.

So, on Tuesday I began cleaning her room of outgrown clothes and toys. Yes, it is Saturday and I'm still not done. Seems when you turn into a tween that you no longer enjoy the things of a pre-tween. It's actually a good thing, this purging of toys and junk. At the end of this room overhaul, there will be more things to sell in the "Candy Palace" and less stuff in her room to manage. Photos are taken Saturday morning. We'll post after pics ... later. :) And, of course, let's not forget Mommy's little helper, Dixie!

Date Night

I haven't posted about Date Night in about a year. We still date once a week. This school year we have a date on Tuesday nights as Monday is our big homework day. At Princess' school, every day is a big homework day, but Monday has been our whopper. So, our sweet friend and babysitter, Jamie, comes on Tuesdays to hang with Princess while we escape for a couple of hours.

Oh the fun! We always go out to eat and then do something fairly practical like an errand that is more fun to do together than separately. Really the whole idea is just hanging out together and laughing and talking. That can happen at Target or Home Depot or a great restaurant. Last night we went to a new restaurant, Mimi's Cafe. We ordered the Corn Chowder (yum!), with the Tuscan Chicken as a main entree and their S'mores for dessert. Wow! It was all very good and the dessert was rich! I could only eat the top later of chocolate and marshmallows.

After dinner, we passed by Barnes and Noble, aka The Library at our house. We all three love to read and when Princess was little we just bought books to read instead of checking them out at the library. I was paralyzed all the time and couldn't make it to the library. We figured that the books were an invaluable investment in Princess. Consequently, for years Princess referred to Barnes and Noble as "The Library". :)

Much to my dismay, we passed by The Library and headed to Best Buy where I got a new earbud for my cell phone and a cable for the TV to watch The Biggest Loser. Woo-hoo! Go 'Bama Boys and the Black Team. :) I am actually rooting for almost everyone at this point.

I took a personality profile test as part of our Life Group at church. This test is annoying to take, but it is spot on! I found out new things about myself and confirmed others. Our Life Group consists of 6 couples ranging in age from upper 30's (me) to early 60's. We are indeed a fun bunch, if I do say so myself. We met last week for instruction/interpretation on the profile along with 4 other Life Groups. We were the rowdy group as we have all become good friends in the two years that we have been meeting. We know so much about each other, but sharing our profiles has taken us to a new level of fun/relationship. About my profile: If you look at the sample profile, you will see on page 3 the different personality types. If you stack the levels on top of each other like you would layer bricks when building a house, the foundational layer is the core of who you are. The 2nd layer (from the bottom) is your next strongest aspect of your personality. It goes on until you reach the top. Each aspet/type of the personality has a percentage. I'm foundationally a Dreamer at 89%. Next, I am a Persister at 89%. Then I am a Harmonizer at 59% and then an Energizer at 59%. My least strong characteristics are Achiever at 30% and Catalyzer at like 20%.

This is Princess in an episode. She is number 15. If you can enlarge the picture by clicking on it, you will see her blank stare, pale face and brown circles under her eyes. We are learning that this is a classic Hyperkalemic Periodic Paralysis episode for her. This was right before half time. She ate a snack bar during half time and was better the second half of the basketball game.

The school called about 11:00 this morning saying Princess was in the nurse's office. The description was pretty classic although this was her first time in the nurses' office with an episode. The nurse on duty today is the same one that attended me during a whopping Hypo episode in Mom's Prayer last year. This is the same nurse that warned me of the requirement to call an ambulance if I or Princess has an episode (bad idea, btw). It has been good to "grow" together and allow others to see these episodes and how we cope.

I am in and out of episodes myself today, so I couldn't go up to school. Her daddy went to attend to her and I'm sure that was special. King has helped me with innumerable episodes over the past 8 years ... you'd think I'd be copacetic with him going instead of myself. I was later, but my initial reaction was a mommy reaction. My baby was not well and it didn't matter if I was paralyzed ... I was going to be by her side. Silly gal that I am, I eventually saw logic and stayed home. She is out of her episode and should be taking a Latin test about now.